Here’s a look at Lady GaGa’s video Marry The Night, which is based on the day she thought her dream was slipping away.

“It was one of the worst days of my life and it happened quite quickly, but in my mind, when I think back on that period of my life, it all happened very slow.” GaGa says of the day she was dropped by her first label, Island Def Jam.”

“It is my personal way of seeing things,” she said. “If you give up after something like that, you were never destined to be an entertainer.”

As for what she means by “Merry The Night” it’s kind of like a love song for New York City, and there is nudity in the video because when she found out she had been dropped from that label she just happened to be nude at that exact moment:

“Well, I was naked in real life when it happened,” she said, referring to the moment she found out she’d been dropped. “That’s probably the most honest moment in that video of everything I’ve ever done. My directorial decision was for them to just f–king roll the cameras, because I couldn’t go in and out of the moment.

“I wonder if I will actually release that scene in its entirety—it’s about 30 minutes long.”

If she does or doesn’t release that entire scene doesn’t really matter, this video is fine just the way it is.

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